1917 VOLUME 11 |ISSUE 2 |2020
This California law also permits triple damages against any
defendant who engaged in a cover-up of the sexual abuse of a
minor. This triple-damages penalty may provide an incentive to
settle for defendants who engaged in a cover-up.
This new law is expected to result in an avalanche of lawsuits
aimed at institutions, local school districts, foster-care agencies,
youth-group organizations, perpetrators, and more. For instance,
the sexual abuse of a minor may be actionable if it occurred in a
cult, spiritual group, or other high-demand group.
Other States and Washington, DC
New York and California are not the only states that have recently
passed laws to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse and
ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice. The following
jurisdictions passed laws to make statute-of-limitations reform
take effect in 2019: Alabama, Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut,
Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maine, Montana, Nevada, New Jersey, North
Carolina, North Dakota, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Texas, Utah,
Vermont, Washington, and the District of Columbia.
The law in every state differs. However, one common denominator
is that all these states and Washington, DC have passed these laws
to try to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
If you are the victim of childhood sexual abuse that occurred in
a cult, spiritual group, high-demand group, or an abusive power
situation, and you want more information about trying to hold
accountable the perpetrator or those who permitted sexual
assault, don’t delay. Contact a lawyer who is experienced in
sexual abuse and spiritual abuse. For further reading, please see
the following websites: https://www.nycbar.org/get-legal-help/
article/personal-injury-and-accidents/new-york-child-victims-
act/ https://www.sacbee.com/news/politics-government/capitol-
alert/article236209553.html n
Note
[1] The information in this article is not legal advice. You should
contact a lawyer for advice regarding your situation.
About the Author
Carla DiMare is licensed to practice law
in California. Ms. DiMare has represented
numerous high-profile clients, and she has
also handled disputes and cases for victims
who did not have the financial resources to
hire a lawyer. She has handled cases involving
sexual abuse, personal injury, wrongful death,
cults/spiritual groups/high demand groups, the Military and
States Secrets Privilege, the First Amendment and defamation,
civil-rights violations, elder abuse, the False Claims Act, sexual
harassment, retaliation and workplace investigative services, and
Title IX abuses in schools and universities. She has written for
the Huffington Post, The Los Angeles Daily Journal, and more, and
has spoken as a panelist for various community groups. She is a
Trustee for the County of San Diego Law Library. n
Point of View – Q&A
By William Goldberg, MSW, LCSW
Dear Bill,
My daughter has been in a cultic relationship for over six
years. At first, she sent us letters blaming us for ruining
her life and trying to control her. These accusations were
not true. Then she started accusing us of worse crimes,
such as physically and sexually abusing her. Again, none
of these accusations were true. We asked her to meet with
us alone or with a counselor to discuss these accusations,
but she told us that she was not going to be tricked by our
“trap.” Two years ago, she just stopped responding to us
at all. We’ve tried contacting her husband, but he refuses
to communicate with us. We’ve tried having other family
members contact her, but they get the same nonresponse.
We showed up at her home, but they called the police
on us. We don’t want to give up on our daughter, but we
don’t know what else to do. She’s our only child, and we’re
miserable. Do you have any suggestions?
Dear Reader,
It’s difficult for me to respond to situations like this, because
I can only imagine the pain that you must be going through.
If your daughter would read your letters or emails, I would
suggest that you reiterate to her that you love her, that you
still want to have a dialogue with her, and that you’re willing
to talk to her at any time.
Because your daughter refuses your many attempts to get her
to examine her hostility toward you, I only have advice that you
may find difficult to accept. Perhaps it’s time to move on and,
as much as you can, to focus on your relationship with your
husband, your friends, and others in your life whom you love.
I’m not suggesting that you abandon your daughter, even
though it may seem as if that’s what I’m recommending. You
would still be willing to meet with her or to reconcile with
her if she’s willing to do so. You can still attempt to contact
her through loving letters. It’s important for her to know that
you are there for her if and when she begins to have doubts
about her situation. What I’m suggesting is that, no matter
how much you suffer, your suffering will not move her to
reconsider her relationship with her husband or with you.
Focusing your energy on relationships with people who love
you and nurture you can help you to mitigate the misery that
you tell me you feel. The only control you have in this situation
is over your own actions, not hers. Unless and until the
circumstances change, accepting the reality of the situation is
a sad, but realistic, choice. n
Send questions for Bill or for other guest columnists to
mail@icsamail.com
This California law also permits triple damages against any
defendant who engaged in a cover-up of the sexual abuse of a
minor. This triple-damages penalty may provide an incentive to
settle for defendants who engaged in a cover-up.
This new law is expected to result in an avalanche of lawsuits
aimed at institutions, local school districts, foster-care agencies,
youth-group organizations, perpetrators, and more. For instance,
the sexual abuse of a minor may be actionable if it occurred in a
cult, spiritual group, or other high-demand group.
Other States and Washington, DC
New York and California are not the only states that have recently
passed laws to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse and
ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice. The following
jurisdictions passed laws to make statute-of-limitations reform
take effect in 2019: Alabama, Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut,
Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maine, Montana, Nevada, New Jersey, North
Carolina, North Dakota, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Texas, Utah,
Vermont, Washington, and the District of Columbia.
The law in every state differs. However, one common denominator
is that all these states and Washington, DC have passed these laws
to try to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
If you are the victim of childhood sexual abuse that occurred in
a cult, spiritual group, high-demand group, or an abusive power
situation, and you want more information about trying to hold
accountable the perpetrator or those who permitted sexual
assault, don’t delay. Contact a lawyer who is experienced in
sexual abuse and spiritual abuse. For further reading, please see
the following websites: https://www.nycbar.org/get-legal-help/
article/personal-injury-and-accidents/new-york-child-victims-
act/ https://www.sacbee.com/news/politics-government/capitol-
alert/article236209553.html n
Note
[1] The information in this article is not legal advice. You should
contact a lawyer for advice regarding your situation.
About the Author
Carla DiMare is licensed to practice law
in California. Ms. DiMare has represented
numerous high-profile clients, and she has
also handled disputes and cases for victims
who did not have the financial resources to
hire a lawyer. She has handled cases involving
sexual abuse, personal injury, wrongful death,
cults/spiritual groups/high demand groups, the Military and
States Secrets Privilege, the First Amendment and defamation,
civil-rights violations, elder abuse, the False Claims Act, sexual
harassment, retaliation and workplace investigative services, and
Title IX abuses in schools and universities. She has written for
the Huffington Post, The Los Angeles Daily Journal, and more, and
has spoken as a panelist for various community groups. She is a
Trustee for the County of San Diego Law Library. n
Point of View – Q&A
By William Goldberg, MSW, LCSW
Dear Bill,
My daughter has been in a cultic relationship for over six
years. At first, she sent us letters blaming us for ruining
her life and trying to control her. These accusations were
not true. Then she started accusing us of worse crimes,
such as physically and sexually abusing her. Again, none
of these accusations were true. We asked her to meet with
us alone or with a counselor to discuss these accusations,
but she told us that she was not going to be tricked by our
“trap.” Two years ago, she just stopped responding to us
at all. We’ve tried contacting her husband, but he refuses
to communicate with us. We’ve tried having other family
members contact her, but they get the same nonresponse.
We showed up at her home, but they called the police
on us. We don’t want to give up on our daughter, but we
don’t know what else to do. She’s our only child, and we’re
miserable. Do you have any suggestions?
Dear Reader,
It’s difficult for me to respond to situations like this, because
I can only imagine the pain that you must be going through.
If your daughter would read your letters or emails, I would
suggest that you reiterate to her that you love her, that you
still want to have a dialogue with her, and that you’re willing
to talk to her at any time.
Because your daughter refuses your many attempts to get her
to examine her hostility toward you, I only have advice that you
may find difficult to accept. Perhaps it’s time to move on and,
as much as you can, to focus on your relationship with your
husband, your friends, and others in your life whom you love.
I’m not suggesting that you abandon your daughter, even
though it may seem as if that’s what I’m recommending. You
would still be willing to meet with her or to reconcile with
her if she’s willing to do so. You can still attempt to contact
her through loving letters. It’s important for her to know that
you are there for her if and when she begins to have doubts
about her situation. What I’m suggesting is that, no matter
how much you suffer, your suffering will not move her to
reconsider her relationship with her husband or with you.
Focusing your energy on relationships with people who love
you and nurture you can help you to mitigate the misery that
you tell me you feel. The only control you have in this situation
is over your own actions, not hers. Unless and until the
circumstances change, accepting the reality of the situation is
a sad, but realistic, choice. n
Send questions for Bill or for other guest columnists to
mail@icsamail.com
