VOLUME 1 |NUMBER 3 |2011 7 6 ICSA TODAY
Separation and secrecy are necessary conditions for the
group to keep its members under the control of the lead-
ers and unaware of outside alternatives. Information that
does not originate with the prophet or family’s patriarch is
suspected of being a corruptive and contaminating influ-
ence. Therefore, exposure to people or information from
outside is in many cases prohibited.
The community holds nonconstructive attitudes toward edu-
cation. Within the FLDS community, as an extension of
characteristics 3 and 4 above, much of education is per-
ceived as contamination, with some education considered
a crime against the polygamous community. Following
are some attitudes regarding education that individuals
shared with me that illustrate this position.
• Most literature is forbidden. Only priesthood-published
and -approved books are the guide for "literature" to
be read.
• Other races, cultures, and belief systems have no value
therefore, there is no need to learn about them.
• The only history that matters is the history of the line of
men who have held the special authority to act in God’s
name on earth, the "history of the priesthood."
• The only books that a child should be allowed to read
are books with stories that reflect the values and beliefs
of the FLDS theology.
• Math beyond the basics is not needed, except as facts
that one can use to pass a test or use as a specific appli-
cation (i.e., geometry to build a building). Individuals are
not to pursue math out of interest alone.
• English has limited usage science is largely irrelevant.
• Health is not taught because the body is a forbidden
subject and is to be covered up. Sex education in the
school is forbidden and very rarely taught in the home.
• The only education a child needs is the education that
results from watching the prophet in order to become
like him, and to gain the knowledge necessary so she or
he can be of greater service to the prophet.
As is apparent, such attitudes toward education are exces-
sively narrow and the effect is to confine the thinking of
the follower. As I have witnessed in those who have left
the community, they are ill-equipped to survive in main-
stream society.
Adaptation to mainstream society is punishing. If follow-
ers followed the five characteristics I have described to
this point, the effects on those who had to make their
way in society apart from their religious group would be
crippling. But the polygamous group targets society itself
as an evil to be shunned. Children are taught to be afraid
of the outside world, that outside society is dangerous in
many ways, and that the only sanctuary for them is within
the community of believers. Outside people are generally
considered wicked, government is a conspiracy that will
destroy them, and doctors are evil and will hurt them with
their practices. (This being said, there are accounts of
mothers having taken their children to outside healthcare
providers when the medical need required it, and having
received life-saving help.) Because the world is considered
temporary and soon to be destroyed anyway, children are
taught there is little to no need to be involved with it. To
the extent that children are involved in the world, they
will be influenced and corrupted by it and become lesser
people than they otherwise could, becoming useless in
the long run for God’s purposes.
The group reflects a no-privacy mentality. To maintain the
structure and centralized power in this society under cur-
rent leadership, it is necessary to "police" group members
to ensure compliance. Even as there is secrecy to prevent
outsiders from discovering the ways of the FLDS commu-
nity, there is frequent internal watching to prevent follow-
ers from becoming disloyal. An outsider observing the
community would probably not notice the subtle moni-
toring within the community, thanks in part to the unspo-
ken mores of the society that any wrongdoing, particular-
ly that which could lead members from the prophet,
should be reported. Children are expected to report any-
one, including parents, brothers, sisters, or friends. Report-
ing at times is done out of duty to the prophet, but there
are times when reports are made in anticipation of reward
or special recognition, or to avoid punishment if the
knowledge of misdeeds is not reported in a timely man-
ner. A phrase that is used when someone is tempted to
choose a friend over loyalty to the leader is "the test of
friends." A corollary teaching is "if a child loves the
prophet he will watch for sins in others that they may be
reported, and there will be no sin among the prophet’s
people" as a result. If the individual is not a member of a
higher social status, he should report members’ sins in the
interest of the community’s welfare. I cannot overstate the
point that secrecy (protecting from the outside) and loyal-
ty (protecting the inside) are essential to the maintenance
of the group’s identity, solidarity, and cohesion, and the
fulfillment of the prophet’s desires.
Violence is a necessary strength. An extension of the con-
trol and authoritarianism the polygamous father exercises
can be violence. In my experience, it is not unusual for
mothers who have fled the polygamous relationship to
report cases of violence perpetrated on them and their
children, approved and sanctioned by the polygamous
community’s leaders. If the patriarch uses violence to con-
trol his children and wives, it is considered a private mat-
ter not to be reported. Intuitively, it makes sense within
their reality. There are so many children to take care of
and such limited resources to get the job done that physi-
cal punishment can be the most direct way to enforce
rules and ensure obedience. Another aspect of violence
within polygamous groups has to do with perception.
Among some families, a violent father is perceived as a
strong father whose strength breeds control and authori-
ty. One problem of this mentality is that violence has a
way of escalating, and children in polygamous families
may have a higher than normal tendency to be violent
with each other as a result. It is reported as axiomatic that
expressions of anger are to be kept within the family and
are a private matter. I should add here that it is not unusu-
al in societies in which there is forced suppression of emo-
tions for anger and rage to simmer, and it can surface as
angry and violent outbursts.
Emotional expressions are undesirable. Emotions and their
expression are considered signs of weakness and are
undesirable. A child is taught to keep her emotions inside
and not tell others about what she feels. It is believed that
if children express these undesirable feelings, the feelings
will grow and take over. Emotions are a sign that you are
not on the path to God, and they are often associated with
evil spirits. For example, crying is a bad spirit that takes
control of a person and it is a sign of weakness to allow
this bad spirit to control one’s self. Laughing is being light-
minded, and is a sin. Crying over a disappointment is also
considered selfish. A nervous breakdown within the FLDS
group occurs when a person invites an evil spirit into his
life and must rid himself of this spirit. Consequently, emo-
tional problems, like many medical problems, are not
treated since they see problems that result from personal
weakness or a failure to comply with the patriarchal order
as requiring repentance. Particularly, those emotions that
would suggest weakness or vulnerability fall into the cate-
gory of being reprehensible. One paradox of this belief
and attitude has to do with the expression of anger.
Although anger is an emotion, it is not judged as a weak-
ness when an authority figure expresses it. In recent years,
public physical displays of anger within some polygamous
groups such as the FLDS have become rare. Instead, men-
tal and emotional abuse that is less observable, but no less
damaging, has been reported as more common.
Personal desires are unwanted. Group teachings empha-
size that the prophet’s will is an expression and extension
of God’s will, and the patriarch’s/father’s will is that of the
prophet. Therefore, the will of everyone else in the polyga-
ICSA_volume3_proof6 5/10/11 12:14 PM Page 8
Separation and secrecy are necessary conditions for the
group to keep its members under the control of the lead-
ers and unaware of outside alternatives. Information that
does not originate with the prophet or family’s patriarch is
suspected of being a corruptive and contaminating influ-
ence. Therefore, exposure to people or information from
outside is in many cases prohibited.
The community holds nonconstructive attitudes toward edu-
cation. Within the FLDS community, as an extension of
characteristics 3 and 4 above, much of education is per-
ceived as contamination, with some education considered
a crime against the polygamous community. Following
are some attitudes regarding education that individuals
shared with me that illustrate this position.
• Most literature is forbidden. Only priesthood-published
and -approved books are the guide for "literature" to
be read.
• Other races, cultures, and belief systems have no value
therefore, there is no need to learn about them.
• The only history that matters is the history of the line of
men who have held the special authority to act in God’s
name on earth, the "history of the priesthood."
• The only books that a child should be allowed to read
are books with stories that reflect the values and beliefs
of the FLDS theology.
• Math beyond the basics is not needed, except as facts
that one can use to pass a test or use as a specific appli-
cation (i.e., geometry to build a building). Individuals are
not to pursue math out of interest alone.
• English has limited usage science is largely irrelevant.
• Health is not taught because the body is a forbidden
subject and is to be covered up. Sex education in the
school is forbidden and very rarely taught in the home.
• The only education a child needs is the education that
results from watching the prophet in order to become
like him, and to gain the knowledge necessary so she or
he can be of greater service to the prophet.
As is apparent, such attitudes toward education are exces-
sively narrow and the effect is to confine the thinking of
the follower. As I have witnessed in those who have left
the community, they are ill-equipped to survive in main-
stream society.
Adaptation to mainstream society is punishing. If follow-
ers followed the five characteristics I have described to
this point, the effects on those who had to make their
way in society apart from their religious group would be
crippling. But the polygamous group targets society itself
as an evil to be shunned. Children are taught to be afraid
of the outside world, that outside society is dangerous in
many ways, and that the only sanctuary for them is within
the community of believers. Outside people are generally
considered wicked, government is a conspiracy that will
destroy them, and doctors are evil and will hurt them with
their practices. (This being said, there are accounts of
mothers having taken their children to outside healthcare
providers when the medical need required it, and having
received life-saving help.) Because the world is considered
temporary and soon to be destroyed anyway, children are
taught there is little to no need to be involved with it. To
the extent that children are involved in the world, they
will be influenced and corrupted by it and become lesser
people than they otherwise could, becoming useless in
the long run for God’s purposes.
The group reflects a no-privacy mentality. To maintain the
structure and centralized power in this society under cur-
rent leadership, it is necessary to "police" group members
to ensure compliance. Even as there is secrecy to prevent
outsiders from discovering the ways of the FLDS commu-
nity, there is frequent internal watching to prevent follow-
ers from becoming disloyal. An outsider observing the
community would probably not notice the subtle moni-
toring within the community, thanks in part to the unspo-
ken mores of the society that any wrongdoing, particular-
ly that which could lead members from the prophet,
should be reported. Children are expected to report any-
one, including parents, brothers, sisters, or friends. Report-
ing at times is done out of duty to the prophet, but there
are times when reports are made in anticipation of reward
or special recognition, or to avoid punishment if the
knowledge of misdeeds is not reported in a timely man-
ner. A phrase that is used when someone is tempted to
choose a friend over loyalty to the leader is "the test of
friends." A corollary teaching is "if a child loves the
prophet he will watch for sins in others that they may be
reported, and there will be no sin among the prophet’s
people" as a result. If the individual is not a member of a
higher social status, he should report members’ sins in the
interest of the community’s welfare. I cannot overstate the
point that secrecy (protecting from the outside) and loyal-
ty (protecting the inside) are essential to the maintenance
of the group’s identity, solidarity, and cohesion, and the
fulfillment of the prophet’s desires.
Violence is a necessary strength. An extension of the con-
trol and authoritarianism the polygamous father exercises
can be violence. In my experience, it is not unusual for
mothers who have fled the polygamous relationship to
report cases of violence perpetrated on them and their
children, approved and sanctioned by the polygamous
community’s leaders. If the patriarch uses violence to con-
trol his children and wives, it is considered a private mat-
ter not to be reported. Intuitively, it makes sense within
their reality. There are so many children to take care of
and such limited resources to get the job done that physi-
cal punishment can be the most direct way to enforce
rules and ensure obedience. Another aspect of violence
within polygamous groups has to do with perception.
Among some families, a violent father is perceived as a
strong father whose strength breeds control and authori-
ty. One problem of this mentality is that violence has a
way of escalating, and children in polygamous families
may have a higher than normal tendency to be violent
with each other as a result. It is reported as axiomatic that
expressions of anger are to be kept within the family and
are a private matter. I should add here that it is not unusu-
al in societies in which there is forced suppression of emo-
tions for anger and rage to simmer, and it can surface as
angry and violent outbursts.
Emotional expressions are undesirable. Emotions and their
expression are considered signs of weakness and are
undesirable. A child is taught to keep her emotions inside
and not tell others about what she feels. It is believed that
if children express these undesirable feelings, the feelings
will grow and take over. Emotions are a sign that you are
not on the path to God, and they are often associated with
evil spirits. For example, crying is a bad spirit that takes
control of a person and it is a sign of weakness to allow
this bad spirit to control one’s self. Laughing is being light-
minded, and is a sin. Crying over a disappointment is also
considered selfish. A nervous breakdown within the FLDS
group occurs when a person invites an evil spirit into his
life and must rid himself of this spirit. Consequently, emo-
tional problems, like many medical problems, are not
treated since they see problems that result from personal
weakness or a failure to comply with the patriarchal order
as requiring repentance. Particularly, those emotions that
would suggest weakness or vulnerability fall into the cate-
gory of being reprehensible. One paradox of this belief
and attitude has to do with the expression of anger.
Although anger is an emotion, it is not judged as a weak-
ness when an authority figure expresses it. In recent years,
public physical displays of anger within some polygamous
groups such as the FLDS have become rare. Instead, men-
tal and emotional abuse that is less observable, but no less
damaging, has been reported as more common.
Personal desires are unwanted. Group teachings empha-
size that the prophet’s will is an expression and extension
of God’s will, and the patriarch’s/father’s will is that of the
prophet. Therefore, the will of everyone else in the polyga-
ICSA_volume3_proof6 5/10/11 12:14 PM Page 8
