occur on a continuum within one setting
and in relation to wider society.3 Langone
defined a cult in 19934 and there has
been no reason to change this. His
definition is from a psychological
perspective, which acknowledges the
potential for harm:
A group or movement that, to a
significant degree
• exhibits great or excessive
devotion or dedication to some
person, idea, or thing
• uses a thought-reform programme
to persuade, control, and socialize
members (i.e., to integrate them
into the group’s unique pattern of
relationships, beliefs, values and
practices)
• systematically induces states of
psychological dependency in
members
• exploits members to advance the
leadership’s goals
• causes psychological harm to
members, their families and the
community.
I cannot move away from the term
because there is at least some popular
understanding that cults are phenomena
that society has to grapple with. Sadly
there are many myths, and cult members
are often seen as weird, crazy or plain
stupid—“I couldn’t be duped like that”
being a common response to the
genuinely outrageous and extreme
stories that occasionally get cited in the
press.5
My Personal Journey
The community I joined in 1974 was a
breakaway independent group that was
open and free to begin with but which I
have since come to see developed into
an extremist environment, with “all or
nothing” thinking. “Sin” was punished by
physical beatings, slapping, shunning
and rebuking. The leadership redefined
the word sin to mean anything that they
disagreed with or that didn’t comply with
their requirements. They engendered
regression and dependency. They
engaged in illicit sexual contact with the
women in their community households
and these double standards caused
cognitive dissonance in many of the
members, cognitive dissonance being the
emotional state set up when there is a
conflict between belief and behavior.6 It
was a confusing and terrifying milieu to
live in, and the psychological
imprisonment, like the dog in the
electrocuted cage that does not realise
the door is open, was nearly total for me.
At that point in my life, I was living in an
environment of total control.
I lost myself completely and had no
thought of leaving—that would have
been “rebellion” and the punishment
would have been eternal damnation or
hell. I really believed that—it was not a
metaphor to me—I could picture it, as I
had heard it so many times from the
community.
I have since come to realise that, in order
to be a full member of the community, I
developed a “cult pseudopersonality”7 of
which I will say more, later. I became very
different to how I had been before
joining, or how I am now. I was serious,
lacking any humour intensely focused on
my religious beliefs (not boys as I had
been before—yet I was only 18) I
stopped swearing (hard for my friends to
imagine!) and dressed quite differently —
resembling a 1950s’ housewife instead of
wearing my usual long hippy dresses.
I learned many years later that others
have written about the cult
pseudopersonality. Singer8 notes that it
forms as part of the change process
expected in many cults. She adds that
people take on a “new social identity,
which may or may not be obvious to an
outsider.” Many groups talk about being
“transformed, reborn, enlightened,
empowered, re-birthed, or cleared” (I
would add to that: saved, and
surrendered). “The group-approved
behaviour is reinforced and reinterpreted
as demonstrating the emergence of the
new person. Members are expected to
display this new social identity.”
It is hard even now to share this soft
underbelly of my experience. It took
many years to heal my heart, broken by
spiritual abuse from a form of
“Christianity” that had started out so well.
Over the years I have received many
different reactions from people I have
spoken to about this time in my life,
ranging from: “How could you have done
that to your family they must have been
so worried about you?” to “I could never
join something like that” and “If it was
that bad, surely you would have left?”
Anecdotally, I know of others who have
received similar reactions. I have rarely
experienced shock from others that a
group that promised to bring God’s love,
healing, life, creativity, fun, Christian truth
and to make the world a better place,
could wear someone down and treat
them in such an abusive way.
I know that I was naive and idealistic but
West notes that idealism is a positive
aspect of spirituality.9 Sadly, I believed
the hard sell: that we—the community—
would change the world and make it a
better place. But as the years passed and
as my already underdeveloped critical
faculties were worn down, I did not
question whether we were actually
saving the world or what was going on.
And so the abuse continued.
It is rare for a cult to do so, but in 1981
the community I had joined disbanded,
following a coup by the women who
were being abused in the leader’s house.
And I left.
I continued with church attendance but
did not examine the full force of the
abuse until 14 years later, when I
attended another abusive church, and
was reminded of the community. I was
now healed enough to realise that I had
finally had enough, and I left this latter
abusive church, too. I received
psychoeducational exit counselling,
which helped me to leave and
understand what had happened to me.
Giambalvo10 defines the purpose of exit
counselling as being to “promote critical
thinking skills especially regarding the
use of mind control. Exit counsellors will
not violate clients’ rights to self
determination nor will they unduly
influence clients’ ideological or spiritual
orientation.”
VOLUME 5 |NUMBER 2 |2014 3
It is hard even now
to share this
soft underbelly
of my experience.
It took many years
to heal my heart,
broken by
spiritual abuse…
and in relation to wider society.3 Langone
defined a cult in 19934 and there has
been no reason to change this. His
definition is from a psychological
perspective, which acknowledges the
potential for harm:
A group or movement that, to a
significant degree
• exhibits great or excessive
devotion or dedication to some
person, idea, or thing
• uses a thought-reform programme
to persuade, control, and socialize
members (i.e., to integrate them
into the group’s unique pattern of
relationships, beliefs, values and
practices)
• systematically induces states of
psychological dependency in
members
• exploits members to advance the
leadership’s goals
• causes psychological harm to
members, their families and the
community.
I cannot move away from the term
because there is at least some popular
understanding that cults are phenomena
that society has to grapple with. Sadly
there are many myths, and cult members
are often seen as weird, crazy or plain
stupid—“I couldn’t be duped like that”
being a common response to the
genuinely outrageous and extreme
stories that occasionally get cited in the
press.5
My Personal Journey
The community I joined in 1974 was a
breakaway independent group that was
open and free to begin with but which I
have since come to see developed into
an extremist environment, with “all or
nothing” thinking. “Sin” was punished by
physical beatings, slapping, shunning
and rebuking. The leadership redefined
the word sin to mean anything that they
disagreed with or that didn’t comply with
their requirements. They engendered
regression and dependency. They
engaged in illicit sexual contact with the
women in their community households
and these double standards caused
cognitive dissonance in many of the
members, cognitive dissonance being the
emotional state set up when there is a
conflict between belief and behavior.6 It
was a confusing and terrifying milieu to
live in, and the psychological
imprisonment, like the dog in the
electrocuted cage that does not realise
the door is open, was nearly total for me.
At that point in my life, I was living in an
environment of total control.
I lost myself completely and had no
thought of leaving—that would have
been “rebellion” and the punishment
would have been eternal damnation or
hell. I really believed that—it was not a
metaphor to me—I could picture it, as I
had heard it so many times from the
community.
I have since come to realise that, in order
to be a full member of the community, I
developed a “cult pseudopersonality”7 of
which I will say more, later. I became very
different to how I had been before
joining, or how I am now. I was serious,
lacking any humour intensely focused on
my religious beliefs (not boys as I had
been before—yet I was only 18) I
stopped swearing (hard for my friends to
imagine!) and dressed quite differently —
resembling a 1950s’ housewife instead of
wearing my usual long hippy dresses.
I learned many years later that others
have written about the cult
pseudopersonality. Singer8 notes that it
forms as part of the change process
expected in many cults. She adds that
people take on a “new social identity,
which may or may not be obvious to an
outsider.” Many groups talk about being
“transformed, reborn, enlightened,
empowered, re-birthed, or cleared” (I
would add to that: saved, and
surrendered). “The group-approved
behaviour is reinforced and reinterpreted
as demonstrating the emergence of the
new person. Members are expected to
display this new social identity.”
It is hard even now to share this soft
underbelly of my experience. It took
many years to heal my heart, broken by
spiritual abuse from a form of
“Christianity” that had started out so well.
Over the years I have received many
different reactions from people I have
spoken to about this time in my life,
ranging from: “How could you have done
that to your family they must have been
so worried about you?” to “I could never
join something like that” and “If it was
that bad, surely you would have left?”
Anecdotally, I know of others who have
received similar reactions. I have rarely
experienced shock from others that a
group that promised to bring God’s love,
healing, life, creativity, fun, Christian truth
and to make the world a better place,
could wear someone down and treat
them in such an abusive way.
I know that I was naive and idealistic but
West notes that idealism is a positive
aspect of spirituality.9 Sadly, I believed
the hard sell: that we—the community—
would change the world and make it a
better place. But as the years passed and
as my already underdeveloped critical
faculties were worn down, I did not
question whether we were actually
saving the world or what was going on.
And so the abuse continued.
It is rare for a cult to do so, but in 1981
the community I had joined disbanded,
following a coup by the women who
were being abused in the leader’s house.
And I left.
I continued with church attendance but
did not examine the full force of the
abuse until 14 years later, when I
attended another abusive church, and
was reminded of the community. I was
now healed enough to realise that I had
finally had enough, and I left this latter
abusive church, too. I received
psychoeducational exit counselling,
which helped me to leave and
understand what had happened to me.
Giambalvo10 defines the purpose of exit
counselling as being to “promote critical
thinking skills especially regarding the
use of mind control. Exit counsellors will
not violate clients’ rights to self
determination nor will they unduly
influence clients’ ideological or spiritual
orientation.”
VOLUME 5 |NUMBER 2 |2014 3
It is hard even now
to share this
soft underbelly
of my experience.
It took many years
to heal my heart,
broken by
spiritual abuse…
