Dear Bill,
In ICSA Today 5.1, you discussed how
psychotherapists and thought-reform consultants
can help families of cult members and former
members. How do exit counselors/
interventionists convince people to leave cults?
Dear Reader,
First, I should point out that no one can make individuals leave a
cult if they don’t want to leave. The task of the exit counselor is
to point out the facts that are denied cult members and to help
them to become more aware of facts that they have attempted
to ignore. In successful exit counseling, the cult members are
shown facts and explanations that they had never been exposed
to or had recognized but had not allowed fully into
consciousness. Once they have been introduced to the reality of
their situation, however, they still have a decision to make. In my
experience, most people chose freedom over the cult’s tyranny,
but some prefer the certainty of the cult over that freedom. The
exit counselor can only point out reality. The decision of whether
or not to leave still resides with the cult members.
Sometimes, the exit counselors are not providing the cult
members with new information. Instead, they are bringing to
the cult members’ minds the uncertainties that they have not
permitted themselves to consciously contemplate. Most cult
members, particularly those who have spent long periods of
time in cults, have doubts about whether they are doing the
right thing by remaining in the cult. They often see the
difference between the public face of the cult and the cult
leader and the hidden, uglier side that is not presented to the
public. They begin to see how the cult leader’s words and
actions differ. For example, they may see a supposedly celibate
guru sneaking young girls into his tent. They might have been
secretly sent to buy meat for him despite the fact that he is
supposedly a vegetarian. They might have seen the cult leader
brutalize a cult member for a minor offense, such as not
anticipating the leader’s whims, despite the leader’s claim to be
compassionate and kind. They might recognize the discrepancy
between members’ lifestyles and the lifestyle of the leader. When
the members see these inconsistencies, they have learned to
suppress them and to attempt to keep them from coming to
their consciousness by rationalizing this behavior or using
self-hypnotic techniques.
However, despite their best efforts, they cannot fully suppress
the reality of cult life forever. Almost all of the former cult
members whom I’ve met with secretly questioned whether
remaining in a group they had come to realize was oppressive
was the wisest thing they could have done, and they sometimes
thought about leaving.* Former members have told me that
when these disturbing thoughts would come into their minds,
they would suppress them or drive them away with thought-
terminating clichés, chanting, meditations, or other distractions
to keep them from focusing their minds on the doubts they
were having.
One benefit of an exit-counseling intervention is that, during
the process, these suppressed doubts are brought into
members’ consciousness and confronted. It’s harder for cult
members to deny the truth when a counselor is challenging
their rationalizations, denials, and justifications.
Exit counselors might point out some of the near-universal
truths about cults. For example, they might discuss the fact
that, after an initial period of joyfulness when individuals first
join the cult, it becomes harder and harder for them to
recapture that state of ecstasy. After a short while, cult
members fake it, not recognizing that everyone around them
is faking it, as well. Sometimes they pretend to be listening
closely to the long-winded pontifications by the cult leader.
However, instead of listening, they might be entering into a
state of altered consciousness. Cults often encourage hypnotic
states, and individual members may think they are the only
ones experiencing these occurrences. In the exit counseling,
the counselors may bring these secret truths into the open.
So exit counselors do not “convince people to leave cults.”
Instead, they clear away the obstacles that prevent cult
members from taking the steps that, on some level, they know
they should take. Sometimes exit counselors provide cult
members with information that they need in order to make an
informed decision, and sometimes exit counselors bring to the
cult members’ conscious minds the doubts that they have not
permitted themselves to consider. At the same time, the most
competent exit counselors are providing an environment of
empathy and respect. This environment contrasts sharply with
the environment of the cult and might provide cult members
with the impetus to leave the cult.
*I should note that I have seen a skewed sampling of cult
members. The people I’ve interviewed, for the most part, have
been those who made the decision to leave the cult. It is
conceivable that the individuals who have not left the cults do
not have these doubts. I do not believe that is the case, but
there is no way of measuring this possibility. ■
Send questions for Bill or for other guest columnists to
mail@icsamail.com
by William Goldberg, MSW, LCSW Point of View -Q&A
VOLUME 5 |NUMBER 2 |2014 23
In ICSA Today 5.1, you discussed how
psychotherapists and thought-reform consultants
can help families of cult members and former
members. How do exit counselors/
interventionists convince people to leave cults?
Dear Reader,
First, I should point out that no one can make individuals leave a
cult if they don’t want to leave. The task of the exit counselor is
to point out the facts that are denied cult members and to help
them to become more aware of facts that they have attempted
to ignore. In successful exit counseling, the cult members are
shown facts and explanations that they had never been exposed
to or had recognized but had not allowed fully into
consciousness. Once they have been introduced to the reality of
their situation, however, they still have a decision to make. In my
experience, most people chose freedom over the cult’s tyranny,
but some prefer the certainty of the cult over that freedom. The
exit counselor can only point out reality. The decision of whether
or not to leave still resides with the cult members.
Sometimes, the exit counselors are not providing the cult
members with new information. Instead, they are bringing to
the cult members’ minds the uncertainties that they have not
permitted themselves to consciously contemplate. Most cult
members, particularly those who have spent long periods of
time in cults, have doubts about whether they are doing the
right thing by remaining in the cult. They often see the
difference between the public face of the cult and the cult
leader and the hidden, uglier side that is not presented to the
public. They begin to see how the cult leader’s words and
actions differ. For example, they may see a supposedly celibate
guru sneaking young girls into his tent. They might have been
secretly sent to buy meat for him despite the fact that he is
supposedly a vegetarian. They might have seen the cult leader
brutalize a cult member for a minor offense, such as not
anticipating the leader’s whims, despite the leader’s claim to be
compassionate and kind. They might recognize the discrepancy
between members’ lifestyles and the lifestyle of the leader. When
the members see these inconsistencies, they have learned to
suppress them and to attempt to keep them from coming to
their consciousness by rationalizing this behavior or using
self-hypnotic techniques.
However, despite their best efforts, they cannot fully suppress
the reality of cult life forever. Almost all of the former cult
members whom I’ve met with secretly questioned whether
remaining in a group they had come to realize was oppressive
was the wisest thing they could have done, and they sometimes
thought about leaving.* Former members have told me that
when these disturbing thoughts would come into their minds,
they would suppress them or drive them away with thought-
terminating clichés, chanting, meditations, or other distractions
to keep them from focusing their minds on the doubts they
were having.
One benefit of an exit-counseling intervention is that, during
the process, these suppressed doubts are brought into
members’ consciousness and confronted. It’s harder for cult
members to deny the truth when a counselor is challenging
their rationalizations, denials, and justifications.
Exit counselors might point out some of the near-universal
truths about cults. For example, they might discuss the fact
that, after an initial period of joyfulness when individuals first
join the cult, it becomes harder and harder for them to
recapture that state of ecstasy. After a short while, cult
members fake it, not recognizing that everyone around them
is faking it, as well. Sometimes they pretend to be listening
closely to the long-winded pontifications by the cult leader.
However, instead of listening, they might be entering into a
state of altered consciousness. Cults often encourage hypnotic
states, and individual members may think they are the only
ones experiencing these occurrences. In the exit counseling,
the counselors may bring these secret truths into the open.
So exit counselors do not “convince people to leave cults.”
Instead, they clear away the obstacles that prevent cult
members from taking the steps that, on some level, they know
they should take. Sometimes exit counselors provide cult
members with information that they need in order to make an
informed decision, and sometimes exit counselors bring to the
cult members’ conscious minds the doubts that they have not
permitted themselves to consider. At the same time, the most
competent exit counselors are providing an environment of
empathy and respect. This environment contrasts sharply with
the environment of the cult and might provide cult members
with the impetus to leave the cult.
*I should note that I have seen a skewed sampling of cult
members. The people I’ve interviewed, for the most part, have
been those who made the decision to leave the cult. It is
conceivable that the individuals who have not left the cults do
not have these doubts. I do not believe that is the case, but
there is no way of measuring this possibility. ■
Send questions for Bill or for other guest columnists to
mail@icsamail.com
by William Goldberg, MSW, LCSW Point of View -Q&A
VOLUME 5 |NUMBER 2 |2014 23
