27 VOLUME 6 |ISSUE 2 |2015
In chapter 10, the author offers a helpful table that describes
aspects of shame on the one hand and guilt on the other.
Survivors of cults, toxic faith, and (apparently) neopatriarchy
suffer from both of these, and understanding the difference
between them is crucial. McFarland defines guilt as “the result of
a sinful choice or action, an externalized feeling of regret over a
committed wrong.”10 (She might have included “the violation of
a generally accepted social norm.”) But not all guilt is valid. One
additional thing I wish she had discussed is false guilt, which
I suggest as the feeling we have when we have violated an
invalid rule or standard of behavior. This invalid rule or behavior
standard may be one that another person has imposed or is
seeking to impose upon us, or it may be one that we have
imposed upon ourselves. In any case, this rule or standard of
behavior in reality has no authority over us other than that
which we give it and so violating it can produce only false guilt
in us. However, false guilt feels just the same as true guilt.
McFarland shows her familiarity with books and online sources
with which most of those who read this publication are also
familiar. For example, on page 60 she refers to Steve Hassan’s
BITE Model, and on page 183 Judith L. Herman’s book Trauma
and Recovery. She draws from these sources and others in
explaining her recovery. Several of the blogs she found are
managed and monitored by Christian women who have
had experiences similar to the author’s, and their help was
invaluable. One thing I found rather remarkable is the fact that
McFarland did not turn her back on God, as many survivors do,
but instead sought to know the real meaning of the Scriptures
that had been used to control and even torment her, however
much that effect was unintended.
The author deals with her recovery in the last chapter (13) of
the book, and in the Epilogue. Here she cites several passages
from the biblical books of Isaiah and Hosea, and also from the
New Testament. It is unclear whether or not she knows the
actual meaning of the Isaiah and Hosea passages—that is, their
application to the actual nation of Israel during the time these
books were composed.
My slight criticisms aside, this book is well worth reading and
recommending, especially to those one may suspect are living
the neopatriarch lifestyle or may be moving in that direction. n
Notes
[1] Hillary McFarland. Quivering Daughters: Hope and
Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy (Dallas: Darklight
Press, 2010), 12.
{2] Robert Jay Lifton. Thought Reform and the Psychology
of Totalism (University of North Carolina Press, 1989).
Lifton’s work was originally about the thought-reform
techniques of the North Koreans and Communist
Chinese employed on United Nations soldiers taken as
prisoners of war during the Korean War of the 1950s,
and on Western civilians sent to “Reeducation” camps
in China during the same period. This work has since
become a standard reference for the study of cults and
cult-like relationships.
[3] Ibid., 13.
[4] Ibid., iii.
[5] Ibid., 8, 9 (bold added. I’m sparing the reader the more
unpleasant section.).
[6] See pages 137, 138.
[7] From the 1845 edition of the Commentary by Dr.
Symon Patrick (1626-1707) Bishop of Ely, England (Power
BibleCD v5.9, Copyright © 2010 Online Publishing, Inc.,
ad loc pp. 88–89).
[8] Italics mine.
[9] Ibid., 50.
[10] Ibid., 77.
About the Reviewer
Lawrence A. (Larry) Pile has been
a staff member and Director of
Cult Education and Research for
Wellspring Retreat and Resource
Center of Albany, Ohio from
May 1988 to the present. He is
currently semiretired and conducts
workshops (on a volunteer basis)
on a wide variety of spiritual
and practical issues and topics designed to help people
who have suffered abuse as members of high-control,
destructive organizations and relationships. In the
past, Larry also has been responsible for maintaining
communication with the organization’s constituents
in the general public and the church at large. These
responsibilities have necessitated conducting extensive
research on a vast number of organizations labeled by
some as cults. He has written an online book about the
Great Commission Association of Churches (Marching
to Zion, accessible through gcmwarning.com) and has
completed work on a commentary on the biblical book
of Galatians, geared toward survivors of abusive churches
and other totalistic organizations and relationships. n
As with the healing of cult
victims everywhere, and the
victims of similar dynamics
in relationships, the author’s
healing took time—lots of it.
In chapter 10, the author offers a helpful table that describes
aspects of shame on the one hand and guilt on the other.
Survivors of cults, toxic faith, and (apparently) neopatriarchy
suffer from both of these, and understanding the difference
between them is crucial. McFarland defines guilt as “the result of
a sinful choice or action, an externalized feeling of regret over a
committed wrong.”10 (She might have included “the violation of
a generally accepted social norm.”) But not all guilt is valid. One
additional thing I wish she had discussed is false guilt, which
I suggest as the feeling we have when we have violated an
invalid rule or standard of behavior. This invalid rule or behavior
standard may be one that another person has imposed or is
seeking to impose upon us, or it may be one that we have
imposed upon ourselves. In any case, this rule or standard of
behavior in reality has no authority over us other than that
which we give it and so violating it can produce only false guilt
in us. However, false guilt feels just the same as true guilt.
McFarland shows her familiarity with books and online sources
with which most of those who read this publication are also
familiar. For example, on page 60 she refers to Steve Hassan’s
BITE Model, and on page 183 Judith L. Herman’s book Trauma
and Recovery. She draws from these sources and others in
explaining her recovery. Several of the blogs she found are
managed and monitored by Christian women who have
had experiences similar to the author’s, and their help was
invaluable. One thing I found rather remarkable is the fact that
McFarland did not turn her back on God, as many survivors do,
but instead sought to know the real meaning of the Scriptures
that had been used to control and even torment her, however
much that effect was unintended.
The author deals with her recovery in the last chapter (13) of
the book, and in the Epilogue. Here she cites several passages
from the biblical books of Isaiah and Hosea, and also from the
New Testament. It is unclear whether or not she knows the
actual meaning of the Isaiah and Hosea passages—that is, their
application to the actual nation of Israel during the time these
books were composed.
My slight criticisms aside, this book is well worth reading and
recommending, especially to those one may suspect are living
the neopatriarch lifestyle or may be moving in that direction. n
Notes
[1] Hillary McFarland. Quivering Daughters: Hope and
Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy (Dallas: Darklight
Press, 2010), 12.
{2] Robert Jay Lifton. Thought Reform and the Psychology
of Totalism (University of North Carolina Press, 1989).
Lifton’s work was originally about the thought-reform
techniques of the North Koreans and Communist
Chinese employed on United Nations soldiers taken as
prisoners of war during the Korean War of the 1950s,
and on Western civilians sent to “Reeducation” camps
in China during the same period. This work has since
become a standard reference for the study of cults and
cult-like relationships.
[3] Ibid., 13.
[4] Ibid., iii.
[5] Ibid., 8, 9 (bold added. I’m sparing the reader the more
unpleasant section.).
[6] See pages 137, 138.
[7] From the 1845 edition of the Commentary by Dr.
Symon Patrick (1626-1707) Bishop of Ely, England (Power
BibleCD v5.9, Copyright © 2010 Online Publishing, Inc.,
ad loc pp. 88–89).
[8] Italics mine.
[9] Ibid., 50.
[10] Ibid., 77.
About the Reviewer
Lawrence A. (Larry) Pile has been
a staff member and Director of
Cult Education and Research for
Wellspring Retreat and Resource
Center of Albany, Ohio from
May 1988 to the present. He is
currently semiretired and conducts
workshops (on a volunteer basis)
on a wide variety of spiritual
and practical issues and topics designed to help people
who have suffered abuse as members of high-control,
destructive organizations and relationships. In the
past, Larry also has been responsible for maintaining
communication with the organization’s constituents
in the general public and the church at large. These
responsibilities have necessitated conducting extensive
research on a vast number of organizations labeled by
some as cults. He has written an online book about the
Great Commission Association of Churches (Marching
to Zion, accessible through gcmwarning.com) and has
completed work on a commentary on the biblical book
of Galatians, geared toward survivors of abusive churches
and other totalistic organizations and relationships. n
As with the healing of cult
victims everywhere, and the
victims of similar dynamics
in relationships, the author’s
healing took time—lots of it.
