Arts: Ava Lynn Williams
16 ICSA TODAY
I am Ava Lynn Williams, and my
life’s story has often been called
an odyssey of more than thirty
years. One would hope that such
a life belonged to ever so few. I
was startled to learn that some
research indicates 3,000,000
people in the United States of
America have been involved in
cultic groups at some point in
their lives.
Just as I was, most people are not
aware of a group’s ability to destroy
the very essence of who you are, your
autonomy to change your belief
system and worst of all to remove
you from society and your family.
In my early teens, my mother placed
me in the hands of a small Christian
group. I became one of the original
members of what was to become
one of the most infamous and
destructive cults. I was brought up
to love the Lord, commit scripture
to memory, and evangelize. Coming
from what I now understand was a
very dysfunctional family with
strong controls and limited
socialization, I was predisposed to
join a high-demand group.
In the beginning, this environment
was so much better than my home
life. The era was the 1960s, what
some now call “the last innocent
generation.”The only literature we
used in evangelism was a little red
verse book from the Gideon Bible.
Witnessing straight from the Bible
felt wonderful. The beatniks and
then the hippies had just begun to
emerge, and at the same time a
revival of Christian faiths occurred.
Many churches and Christians began
to have Bible studies in private
homes. We would join in with them
and also keep our bigger ministry to
those outside the churches. We sang
and held Bible studies, taught
witnessing, and worked with the
youth in the churches. But most of
the time we lived in the midst of the
hippies, dressing like them with our
guitars on our backs and Bibles in
hand.
Many have said we were the
beginning of the Jesus revolutions,
with our skits, beach baptisms, and
the three-finger sign of our spiritual
rebirth. Many young people wanted
to become members of our group as
well as other congregations, so that
our generation could reach Christ
and go into the world to preach the
Gospel. We patterned our lives on the
early church in the book of Acts.
While still in our virgin days, many of
our teams of young people left for
foreign countries and to preach.
However, as our numbers increased,
obedience to our leader as God’s
prophet slowly became a greater goal
than preaching God’s Gospel. A cult
of personality emerged. My mother
and three of my brothers joined and
left my oldest brother remained and
married and had four children. He
later left with his children, many years
before I did, while his wife remained.
Early in 2001, one of his daughters
rejoined her mother in the group,
only to lose her life shortly after.
Members of my family were pierced
through our hearts.
My adult children and I lived and
worked in 25 different countries
around the world, and I bore children
in 9 of those countries. Each of my
two marriages within the group had
other wives and children. Instead of
bringing more unity and the
promised utopia, this practice
brought even more separations
without individual choice or control.
In addition, living daily with the belief
that marriage to the group was more
important than my own marriage
stole the last vestige of my personal
feelings and hopes. One good result
for me was that I have 12 children,
and three wonderful stepchildren by
a second wife. Our children have
given me 17 fabulous grandchildren.
Happily, we are now all former
members.
We had both great and terrible times,
but it seemed we were always
“running against the wind. I was
away from America for 19 years and
absent from my immediate family for
twenty-four and a half years, except
for two brief times when they visited
me. My last husband remained in the
group and is to this day a full-time
member. I know very little about his
present life, and he has sporadic
contact with our children.
Trauma Memories: I have represented my trauma and abuse by broken glass. This piece
expresses my moral dilemma living in a biblical cult with nonbiblical practices such as
polygamy, isolation, and other forms of punishment separations from children and spouses
and emotional, physical, and sexual abuse of people of all ages.
Broken Perspective (Detail):
This is the breakage I
had to look through
to see the world.
Healing: This is my brain healing. Each bottle is a blessing that grew out of my
past life. Instead of broken glass, there are beautiful glass beads inside.
A 30-YEAR
OdyssEy
VOLUME 4 |NUMBER 2 |2013 17
ICSA_volume4Issue2_Final 8/9/13 8:31 PM Page 18
16 ICSA TODAY
I am Ava Lynn Williams, and my
life’s story has often been called
an odyssey of more than thirty
years. One would hope that such
a life belonged to ever so few. I
was startled to learn that some
research indicates 3,000,000
people in the United States of
America have been involved in
cultic groups at some point in
their lives.
Just as I was, most people are not
aware of a group’s ability to destroy
the very essence of who you are, your
autonomy to change your belief
system and worst of all to remove
you from society and your family.
In my early teens, my mother placed
me in the hands of a small Christian
group. I became one of the original
members of what was to become
one of the most infamous and
destructive cults. I was brought up
to love the Lord, commit scripture
to memory, and evangelize. Coming
from what I now understand was a
very dysfunctional family with
strong controls and limited
socialization, I was predisposed to
join a high-demand group.
In the beginning, this environment
was so much better than my home
life. The era was the 1960s, what
some now call “the last innocent
generation.”The only literature we
used in evangelism was a little red
verse book from the Gideon Bible.
Witnessing straight from the Bible
felt wonderful. The beatniks and
then the hippies had just begun to
emerge, and at the same time a
revival of Christian faiths occurred.
Many churches and Christians began
to have Bible studies in private
homes. We would join in with them
and also keep our bigger ministry to
those outside the churches. We sang
and held Bible studies, taught
witnessing, and worked with the
youth in the churches. But most of
the time we lived in the midst of the
hippies, dressing like them with our
guitars on our backs and Bibles in
hand.
Many have said we were the
beginning of the Jesus revolutions,
with our skits, beach baptisms, and
the three-finger sign of our spiritual
rebirth. Many young people wanted
to become members of our group as
well as other congregations, so that
our generation could reach Christ
and go into the world to preach the
Gospel. We patterned our lives on the
early church in the book of Acts.
While still in our virgin days, many of
our teams of young people left for
foreign countries and to preach.
However, as our numbers increased,
obedience to our leader as God’s
prophet slowly became a greater goal
than preaching God’s Gospel. A cult
of personality emerged. My mother
and three of my brothers joined and
left my oldest brother remained and
married and had four children. He
later left with his children, many years
before I did, while his wife remained.
Early in 2001, one of his daughters
rejoined her mother in the group,
only to lose her life shortly after.
Members of my family were pierced
through our hearts.
My adult children and I lived and
worked in 25 different countries
around the world, and I bore children
in 9 of those countries. Each of my
two marriages within the group had
other wives and children. Instead of
bringing more unity and the
promised utopia, this practice
brought even more separations
without individual choice or control.
In addition, living daily with the belief
that marriage to the group was more
important than my own marriage
stole the last vestige of my personal
feelings and hopes. One good result
for me was that I have 12 children,
and three wonderful stepchildren by
a second wife. Our children have
given me 17 fabulous grandchildren.
Happily, we are now all former
members.
We had both great and terrible times,
but it seemed we were always
“running against the wind. I was
away from America for 19 years and
absent from my immediate family for
twenty-four and a half years, except
for two brief times when they visited
me. My last husband remained in the
group and is to this day a full-time
member. I know very little about his
present life, and he has sporadic
contact with our children.
Trauma Memories: I have represented my trauma and abuse by broken glass. This piece
expresses my moral dilemma living in a biblical cult with nonbiblical practices such as
polygamy, isolation, and other forms of punishment separations from children and spouses
and emotional, physical, and sexual abuse of people of all ages.
Broken Perspective (Detail):
This is the breakage I
had to look through
to see the world.
Healing: This is my brain healing. Each bottle is a blessing that grew out of my
past life. Instead of broken glass, there are beautiful glass beads inside.
A 30-YEAR
OdyssEy
VOLUME 4 |NUMBER 2 |2013 17
ICSA_volume4Issue2_Final 8/9/13 8:31 PM Page 18
