11 VOLUME 7 |ISSUE 2 |2016
group learned Vieira’s style. Whoever had the power to do so felt
entitled to exclude their rivals, normally by spreading rumors
and turning the group against the persons involved. Many
members were easily convinced by false gossip their superiors
spread. Others were afraid to express opposition. I saw many
great people who dedicated their lives to Conscientiology be
tagged as traitors, sick, unreliable, megalomaniac, sociopath,
dictatorial, and other denigrating labels. When that happens,
those persons so labeled are left on their own, in a strange city,
with hardly any social bonds.
Members in the organization accept leadership positions in
good faith, for the cause. But as directors, they have to work
harder and tend to get angry at those “lazy volunteers” who are
never available when needed. They also notice how volunteers
have low self-esteem, little experience, high admiration for, and
high dependency on them. In this melting pot, any good person
can become autocratic.
In my case, all I wanted, as most Conscientiologists do, was to
get published. When Vieira and the volunteers praised my book
manuscripts, I became self-confident. When angry colleagues,
with the paradoxical and authoritative support of Vieira,
interrupted the institutional publication, I was disappointed.
When I took the situation a step further and published on my
own, I was instantly expelled from the group, with the label of
psychopath. My world of 14 years of investment and idealization
fell apart. The same people who used to compliment me for my
dedication now considered me selfish and evil.
In an apparent display of kindness, they offered me their
therapeutic services, limited to their self-diagnosis about how
I was responsible for what happened, and how I was to accept
the situation that I created. The institution’s way of washing its
hands was by rationalizing that I provoked the situation, and
that their response was an evolutionary opportunity I should be
thankful for.
The pain is stronger when inflicted without overtly evil
intentions. You do not know how or against what to react,
becoming a confused living dead for some time. Some people
return to the group, asking, in one way or another, that their
aggressors forgive them. I was offered this opportunity but
found it too humiliating to accept.
Standing up for my principles was probably the reason that
leaving brought me more joy than pain. I am grateful for having
met people since who have been through similar processes
and have reached out to me. Then I felt the need to speak out
and to encourage others to tell their stories, opening a kind
of awareness network about Conscientiology on the Internet.
Some scars may remain forever, especially when I think I was
naive enough to devote my best efforts to people who would
not hesitate to throw my work in a garbage can. But the effort
was not totally in vain. It was just directed toward the wrong
cause. Paraphrasing the former member of The Peoples Temple
Jeannie Mills,4 it was a cause that looked too good to be true, so
it probably was too good to be true! n
Notes
[1] For a more detailed personal account of that experience,
see “My First Out-of-Body Experience,” Journal of Exceptional
Experiences and Psychology, Winter 2013, available at issuu.
com/exceptionalpsychology/docs/jeep__2013__winter_/39
[2] See, for instance, O Self Perfeito e a Nova Era (Loyola, 2000) by
the anthropologist Anthony D’Andrea, PhD, or my account
of that evolution in the Kindle e-book O que Penso da
Conscienciologia (2015).
[3] In one documented referral, the institution is called on by
some individuals to resolve a conflict between residents of
condominiums nearby, with regard to where they should
build an internal lane. See UNICIN (2014, January). Parecer
01/2014. Foz do Iguaçu. Retrieved from unicin.org/images/
pareceres/parecer_condominios-01_2014.pdf
[4] Mills, J. (1979). Six Years With God: Life Inside Reverend Jim
Jones’s Peoples Temple. New York, NY: A &W.
About the Author
Flávio Amaral (36) graduated in
economics, holds a Master’s degree
in Business Administration, and
works in the trade-finance sector.
He has been personally interested in
parapsychological and mind studies,
with emphasis on Conscientiology’s
volunteer organizations, where he
was also a teacher, coordinator, and
book author from 1999 to 2012. His
works can be read at autopesquisas.com He currently lives
in Florianópolis (Brazil) and studies parapsychology at the
Instituto de Parapsicologia e Ciências Mentais in Joinville.
flavio@autopesquisas.com n
group learned Vieira’s style. Whoever had the power to do so felt
entitled to exclude their rivals, normally by spreading rumors
and turning the group against the persons involved. Many
members were easily convinced by false gossip their superiors
spread. Others were afraid to express opposition. I saw many
great people who dedicated their lives to Conscientiology be
tagged as traitors, sick, unreliable, megalomaniac, sociopath,
dictatorial, and other denigrating labels. When that happens,
those persons so labeled are left on their own, in a strange city,
with hardly any social bonds.
Members in the organization accept leadership positions in
good faith, for the cause. But as directors, they have to work
harder and tend to get angry at those “lazy volunteers” who are
never available when needed. They also notice how volunteers
have low self-esteem, little experience, high admiration for, and
high dependency on them. In this melting pot, any good person
can become autocratic.
In my case, all I wanted, as most Conscientiologists do, was to
get published. When Vieira and the volunteers praised my book
manuscripts, I became self-confident. When angry colleagues,
with the paradoxical and authoritative support of Vieira,
interrupted the institutional publication, I was disappointed.
When I took the situation a step further and published on my
own, I was instantly expelled from the group, with the label of
psychopath. My world of 14 years of investment and idealization
fell apart. The same people who used to compliment me for my
dedication now considered me selfish and evil.
In an apparent display of kindness, they offered me their
therapeutic services, limited to their self-diagnosis about how
I was responsible for what happened, and how I was to accept
the situation that I created. The institution’s way of washing its
hands was by rationalizing that I provoked the situation, and
that their response was an evolutionary opportunity I should be
thankful for.
The pain is stronger when inflicted without overtly evil
intentions. You do not know how or against what to react,
becoming a confused living dead for some time. Some people
return to the group, asking, in one way or another, that their
aggressors forgive them. I was offered this opportunity but
found it too humiliating to accept.
Standing up for my principles was probably the reason that
leaving brought me more joy than pain. I am grateful for having
met people since who have been through similar processes
and have reached out to me. Then I felt the need to speak out
and to encourage others to tell their stories, opening a kind
of awareness network about Conscientiology on the Internet.
Some scars may remain forever, especially when I think I was
naive enough to devote my best efforts to people who would
not hesitate to throw my work in a garbage can. But the effort
was not totally in vain. It was just directed toward the wrong
cause. Paraphrasing the former member of The Peoples Temple
Jeannie Mills,4 it was a cause that looked too good to be true, so
it probably was too good to be true! n
Notes
[1] For a more detailed personal account of that experience,
see “My First Out-of-Body Experience,” Journal of Exceptional
Experiences and Psychology, Winter 2013, available at issuu.
com/exceptionalpsychology/docs/jeep__2013__winter_/39
[2] See, for instance, O Self Perfeito e a Nova Era (Loyola, 2000) by
the anthropologist Anthony D’Andrea, PhD, or my account
of that evolution in the Kindle e-book O que Penso da
Conscienciologia (2015).
[3] In one documented referral, the institution is called on by
some individuals to resolve a conflict between residents of
condominiums nearby, with regard to where they should
build an internal lane. See UNICIN (2014, January). Parecer
01/2014. Foz do Iguaçu. Retrieved from unicin.org/images/
pareceres/parecer_condominios-01_2014.pdf
[4] Mills, J. (1979). Six Years With God: Life Inside Reverend Jim
Jones’s Peoples Temple. New York, NY: A &W.
About the Author
Flávio Amaral (36) graduated in
economics, holds a Master’s degree
in Business Administration, and
works in the trade-finance sector.
He has been personally interested in
parapsychological and mind studies,
with emphasis on Conscientiology’s
volunteer organizations, where he
was also a teacher, coordinator, and
book author from 1999 to 2012. His
works can be read at autopesquisas.com He currently lives
in Florianópolis (Brazil) and studies parapsychology at the
Instituto de Parapsicologia e Ciências Mentais in Joinville.
flavio@autopesquisas.com n
